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| I can do this!! |
Anyways... as I was saying... I WAS eating pretty awsum. But you see, I'm still in the life of eating whatever...depending on who I am with. Alot of people would not agree with this. But my theory is, why not enjoy your friends/family's company and eat along with them? I don't enjoy being 'the odd one out' and segregating myself from the group by saying, "I'm not eating that". I don't like being anti social or portraying the message that I'm too good to eat your food. So I eat. Maybe I won't be like this forever, maybe the more I get into this lifestyle I will see the benefits more and more and feel that sacrificing my social eating time is worth it. But at this stage... nope.
So I was on my way to my folks house, taking the long drive through Frankston and down the Eastern Freeway to the burbs and the place of my youth. The drive was actually beautiful. I was feeling so light, and my head was clear. I totally noticed a change in my thinking patterns from all these great eating habbits I'm trying to adopt.
Usually for me, I associate mum's place with eating. Mum is the worlds' most amazing, and most unhealthy cook. When my family get together, we eat until we are in pain. I was pretty happy with myself, as I didn't eat as much as I usually would at one of these get togethers, however it was what I was eating that did the damage. Nachos, chips, dips. SALT. My salt addiction is something I am working on, but that's another day's post. As soon as I started eating this stuff, the inside of my mouth developed saws and cuts and blisters, pretty much instantly. So weird. I also felt headachy, and I lost the clearness in my mind. Good bye detox week I just had. That was only the beginning. That night, I was off on a mini break to the Prom - my fav place in the world. (Victoria, anyway..)
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| The birds finished off my 'naughty' meal of noodles... |
I went with my girlfriend Kim, and normally when we get together, we go soooo overboard with our eating. I mean... we pig out big time. But this time, we were both pretty good! I managed to eat fruit all day for the first day, and went for a beautiful run for 3k's along the beach, then we did an amazing 4k walk. But that night, out came the choccy, popcorn and wine. Again, I started to feel that old familiar, 'unhealthy' feeling. Like shit really. The whole next day, I found myself craving crap food again. It only took 2 days of bad eating and my body wanted that stuff all the time. That's how addictive it is.
Since being home, it's only been a couple of days and I've been pretty good for the most part, but struggled to get back into it. But normally when this happens, I give up, and think it's all useless and go back to my old ways. But I feel different this time. I know that I am serious about this lifestyle and I will get back into it asap. It's hard at work to eat enough calories that this lifestyle requires, so I find when I get home I really want to binge. But now I have 2 days off and I normally get it back together when I have time, time to just chill and eat healthy and take care of myself. So that's what I'm going to do. Take care of myself.
I still have the blisters in my mouth, and my tastebuds feel numb. My skin, has fully broken out with zits on my chin - it's so sensitive to what I eat!
I think tomorrow, I will start the day with pilates, come home for my 'date me' smoothie and do a facial. Then hopefully the hubby will be awake coz I wanna try this new cafe in Red Hill that's an organic cafe where everything they serve has been grown in their garden. Here's to continuing on this journey....
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