The thing is, I really want health. I have spent years knowing what it's like to be unhealthy. Uncontrollable eating disorders, and battles in my mind. I have searched so many things to try and find a vibrant life, full of energy. I have had such a disordered past, and am looking for balance. I want health. I want to feel alive. I am inspired by those that seem to have found it. I am sick of worrying about what I eat and sick of living in a food prison. I want to eat foods that actually bring my body life, not slowly kill it. I want to heal all my actions of the past. I want to heal my mind as well as my body.
So after heaps of research on blogs, articles and reading and hearing other people's stories, I want to find it for myself. I want to know what works for me, for my body, and learn how and when my body is working at it's best. I want to know who I can be and the potential I have when I am eating clean and treating myself with love. I am going to 'try' raw, 'try' eating millions of bananas, 'try' to eat as clean as I can. Sure, I'm still going to find it hard and still probably eat things not on this lifestyle, but that's all part of my learning. At this stage, I'm going to try and have most of my meals from fruit, and still include rice, quinoa and maybe some cooked potatoes. Who knows, maybe soon I'll be ready to do the whole raw thing 100% but not...just yet.
I'll only learn what is truly healing if I just try. I'm going to ignore comments of not being healthy - do you think I haven't already questioned all of that? I'm not just jumping into this lifestyle because it's the new 'fad'. I have spent years and years thinking and questioning this life and what it means to be healthy. If I come out of this and decide that everyone is right and that this lifestyle does NOT work, then I will be the first to say so and try another path to health. At least I am making steps towards something positive and healing, and I just hope that those around me that I love will see this and encourage it. Trust me, this 'banana thing' is much more healthy for me than what I was doing.To be honest, I look at the way everyone else eats and I think that that is 'crazy' but no one questions it - because that is what we've been told. That is what we have learned. Eating eggs (chicken menstruation) is normal. Drinking another animal's breast milk (when we stop drinking our own specie's when we are babies) is normal. Eating the flesh of a dead animal is normal. Getting sick every few months is normal. Popping pills and taking meds is normal. Using pesticides to kill insects on our fruits and veg and then eating it ourselves is normal. But what if this isn't how we are meant to live?
And anyway, I don't just want to live, or exist, or survive here on this planet. I want to thrive here on this planet. I am questioning the very fabric in which we all exist.
So on this blog I will try to keep you up to date with how I'm feeling, how I'm going, all my struggles and little achievements along the way. And I'll try to be as honest as I can ;) I have been known to be pretty secretive...so this is huge for me to share my journey.
I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to let me know what you're learning, and how you have found health in your life.
Big love x
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