Don't start over...just keep going

I can do this!!

A few days ago...I was eating super awsum. Sticking to 80/10/10, starting to feel pretty detoxed and clean... even though I was pretty sick with a cold. The funny thing is... I was doing some reading on 30 Bananas a Day blog, and a lot of people on there have been posting their thoughts on 'banana allergies' and all their symptoms sound totally like the ones I had. Maybe I wasn't sick...maybe I have banana allergies from all those damn bananas! Symptoms were... itchy as eyes..(driving me crazy) on the verge of sneezing ALL THE BLOODY TIME... blocked up and stuffy. Could be a cold. Could also be a banana allergy. So I have cut down on bananas for a while (maybe 2 a day) and I'll see how I go. I think tomorrow, I will try another banana smoothie and see what happens! eek!

Anyways... as I was saying... I WAS eating pretty awsum. But you see, I'm still in the life of eating whatever...depending on who I am with. Alot of people would not agree with this. But my theory is, why not enjoy your friends/family's company and eat along with them? I don't enjoy being 'the odd one out' and segregating myself from the group by saying, "I'm not eating that". I don't like being anti social or portraying the message that I'm too good to eat your food. So I eat. Maybe I won't be like this forever, maybe the more I get into this lifestyle I will see the benefits more and more and feel that sacrificing my social eating time is worth it. But at this stage... nope.

So I was on my way to my folks house, taking the long drive through Frankston and down the Eastern Freeway to the burbs and the place of my youth. The drive was actually beautiful. I was feeling so light, and my head was clear. I totally noticed a change in my thinking patterns from all these great eating habbits I'm trying to adopt.
Usually for me, I associate mum's place with eating. Mum is the worlds' most amazing, and most unhealthy cook. When my family get together, we eat until we are in pain. I was pretty happy with myself, as I didn't eat as much as I usually would at one of these get togethers, however it was what I was eating that did the damage. Nachos, chips, dips. SALT. My salt addiction is something I am working on, but that's another day's post. As soon as I started eating this stuff, the inside of my mouth developed saws and cuts and blisters, pretty much instantly. So weird. I also felt headachy, and I lost the clearness in my mind. Good bye detox week I just had. That was only the beginning. That night, I was off on a mini break to the Prom - my fav place in the world. (Victoria, anyway..)

The birds finished off my 'naughty' meal of noodles...

I love the prom. It's my escape place. It is stunning. Nature heals me. I wrote my first song there when I was 15.
I went with my girlfriend Kim, and normally when we get together, we go soooo overboard with our eating. I mean... we pig out big time. But this time, we were both pretty good! I managed to eat fruit all day for the first day, and went for a beautiful run for 3k's along the beach, then we did an amazing 4k walk. But that night, out came the choccy, popcorn and wine. Again, I started to feel that old familiar, 'unhealthy' feeling. Like shit really. The whole next day, I found myself craving crap food again. It only took 2 days of bad eating and my body wanted that stuff all the time. That's how addictive it is.

Since being home, it's only been a couple of days and I've been pretty good for the most part, but struggled to get back into it. But normally when this happens, I give up, and think it's all useless and go back to my old ways. But I feel different this time. I know that I am serious about this lifestyle and I will get back into it asap. It's hard at work to eat enough calories that this lifestyle requires, so I find when I get home I really want to binge. But now I have 2 days off and I normally get it back together when I have time, time to just chill and eat healthy and take care of myself. So that's what I'm going to do. Take care of myself.

I still have the blisters in my mouth, and my tastebuds feel numb. My skin, has fully broken out with zits on my chin - it's so sensitive to what I eat!
I think tomorrow, I will start the day with pilates, come home for my 'date me' smoothie and do a facial. Then hopefully the hubby will be awake coz I wanna try this new cafe in Red Hill that's an organic cafe where everything they serve has been grown in their garden. Here's to continuing on this journey....

Persimmon- get it in ya

So how come I've never heard of a persimmon before? Or ever tasted one?  I'm a bit of a 'local girl' when it comes to my fruit, I like to get things fresh and in season. But when I saw persimmons at the local supermarket for 69c each I was like yeeeewww what are these? I'll give em a go!
I bought two, one for me, one for the hubs, and let them ripen for a few days. Had a sickie from work yesterday (and today) as I have a cold (could even be detoxing?) and decided to tuck into this weird little tomato looking thing. OMG.
Who knew it would be sooo creamy...so gooey! It tasted unhealthy even...too good to be true!! Sweet sweet nectar of the Gods...

Stuff to know about Persimmons:

*They are chineeeeeese

I wanna lick this tree

* They have high levels of dietary fiber (twice that of an apple and more antioxidants) phenolic compounds, potassium, magnesium, calcium, iron and manganese. They are also rich in vitamin C and beta carotene.
* Can reduce the risk of certain heart attacks
*Improves lipid metabolism - the way the body copes with fat!
* Persimmon tree wood is used to make funky traditional japanese and chinese furniture
* They aren't too good for you if you eat them unripe - and taste gross
* Horses like to eat em too
* In Chinese medicine it is thought that persimmons regulate your 'Chi'
* Eat too much? You could get the runs. Eat it cooked? It can stop the runs. 
* Ancient cultures used persimmons to predict how bad the coming winter would be. They could 'read' them by cutting them in half. 
*There are now persimmon growers all over Australia! The bulk of them coming from Queensland. 


I'm so excited to have found a new amazing fruit! This raw journey is opening me up to try new flavours that I'd otherwise have just walked past in the supermarket coz it looked weird. 
If you're an Aussie, to my knowledge, not many people usually eat these fruits. But I'm telling you - GET ONE IN YA! Just make sure it is really orangey/reddish and feels gooey to touch.

My self experiment

So...many people are telling me I'm crazy. You can't eat all those bananas that is NOT healthy! But this is my project. I'm inspired by all those other 'crazy' people on the 30BAD forum who have found undeniable health through this lifestyle - a lifestyle dedicated to getting all nutrients you need from raw fruits and veggies - known as the 80-10-10 lifestyle.

The thing is, I really want health. I have spent years knowing what it's like to be unhealthy. Uncontrollable eating disorders, and battles in my mind.  I have searched so many things to try and find a vibrant life, full of energy. I have had such a disordered past, and am looking for balance. I want health. I want to feel alive. I am inspired by those that seem to have found it. I am sick of worrying about what I eat and sick of living in a food prison. I want to eat foods that actually bring my body life, not slowly kill it. I want to heal all my actions of the past. I want to heal my mind as well as my body.

So after heaps of research on blogs, articles and reading and hearing other people's stories, I want to find it for myself. I want to know what works for me, for my body, and learn how and when my body is working at it's best. I want to know who I can be and the potential I have when I am eating clean and treating myself with love. I am going to 'try' raw, 'try' eating millions of bananas, 'try' to eat as clean as I can. Sure, I'm still going to find it hard and still probably eat things not on this lifestyle, but that's all part of my learning. At this stage, I'm going to try and have most of my meals from fruit, and still include rice, quinoa and maybe some cooked potatoes. Who knows, maybe soon I'll be ready to do the whole raw thing 100% but not...just yet.

I'll only learn what is truly healing if I just try. I'm going to ignore comments of not being healthy - do you think I haven't already questioned all of that? I'm not just jumping into this lifestyle because it's the new 'fad'. I have spent years and years thinking and questioning this life and what it means to be healthy. If I come out of this and decide that everyone is right and that this lifestyle does NOT work, then I will be the first to say so and try another path to health. At least I am making steps towards something positive and healing, and I just hope that those around me that I love will see this and encourage it. Trust me, this 'banana thing' is much more healthy for me than what I was doing.

To be honest, I look at the way everyone else eats and I think that that is 'crazy' but no one questions it - because that is what we've been told. That is what we have learned. Eating eggs (chicken menstruation) is normal. Drinking another animal's breast milk (when we stop drinking our own specie's when we are babies) is normal. Eating the flesh of a dead animal is normal. Getting sick every few months is normal.  Popping pills and taking meds is normal. Using pesticides to kill insects on our fruits and veg and then eating it ourselves is normal. But what if this isn't how we are meant to live?

And anyway, I don't just want to live, or exist, or survive here on this planet.  I want to thrive here on this planet.   I am questioning the very fabric in which we all exist.

So on this blog I will try to keep you up to date with how I'm feeling, how I'm going, all my struggles and little achievements along the way. And I'll try to be as honest as I can ;) I have been known to be pretty secretive...so this is huge for me to share my journey.

I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to let me know what you're learning, and how you have found health in your life.

Big love x